I’ll never forget Big D.
He was a rather big fellow (hence, “Big” D) with kin folk trailing all the way back to the Dalton Gang, legendary outlaws of the post-Civil War period. Needless to say, he was an interesting character, with quite an index of aphorismic phrases he’d picked up from his mother. One that stuck with me all these years was his mother’s explanation for why she and Big D’s father divorced when he was just a wee lad. All she would say was, “Well son, there’s (sic) three sides to the story. My side, his side, and the truth, and it’s the truth that’s the hardest to get at.”
I laughed out loud when he told me that, but the longer I let it soak into my brain, the more sobering the reality of it became, and my mind raced to the words of that gloomy old prophet Jeremiah who said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) If we are to believe Big D’s Mom, we can’t know it! We’re held so captive by our own sinful prejudices that our hearts fool us every time. It’s the primary reason I get cold chills whenever I hear advice like, “Follow your heart”, or “Let your heart be your guide.” If we are to believe Jeremiah then that advice will only lead us into trouble.
Having intellectually and experientially come to believe the old prophet, I cringe when the television show therapist asks the actor-patient, “And how does that make you feel?” I’m sitting there in my chair shouting at the TV, “Who cares how she feels! Just tell her the truth?” I know, I know, the therapist’s objective is to get her to realize the truth on her own, but don’t forget Jerry’s admonition that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” If the old prophet is right, then how on earth can she get there on her own? Well, she can’t, but the good news is, there is a way, and interestingly enough, the “Good News” is that way.
The Bible is full of great wisdom and guidance to help us really learn and know the truth, things like “ . . . in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14), which takes us back to our TV therapist example; only find a therapist that’s actually going to tell you the truth!
Then there’s one of my favorites, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and unbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (James 1:5), and I emphasize that “ask of God” part. Counselors and therapists are humans, too, so their hearts aren’t any more pure than the rest of us, and the best of them make mistakes; but God . . . now there’s the resource for truth, and all we have to do is ask.
If you really want the truth, and you’re brave enough to ask (read James 1:6-8 for a better context of what I mean by “brave enough”), be ready, because the truth . . . not Big D’s Mom’s truth, or Big D’s Dad’s truth, but THE truth . . . is often quite a bit different that we think it is. I’ve seen people get so close to it that it started to hurt, and that’s when they walked away and continued to cling to “their” truth.
It takes a remarkable man or woman to acknowledge their own prejudices and misconceptions, and Big D’s Mom was certainly a remarkable woman; but it takes a miracle of grace find and accept the truth.
Fortunately, His grace is abundant.
